The Stuntrat

Okay, this is it! I’ve had enough! How he got in, I have no idea. For hours now I’ve been begging this rat to get out of my kitchen. But the little fellow isn’t cooperative at all. I mean, I’ve tried all the gentle tactics to lure him out, and he runs into places he knows I can’t reach! Smart ass. He plays hide and seek with me. For long I’ve prided myself as a man bestowed with lots of patience. Now today this little thing has tested me to the limit. Problem is, this crooked little creature thinks that what belongs to me belongs to it as well. He feasted on MY bread and MY potatoes and MY sweet pumpkins. That I can live with, but man, he walked through MY soup! He walked right across my plate of vegetable soup like it’s a lake of mud for him to showcase his stuntman skills, I mean stuntrat skills. You shouldn’t have done that, little thing. I just don’t believe there’s a dearth of food supply out there in the wild for rats. Yet this guy chose to be an uninvited visitor in my house. When I get into the kitchen, he pretends he’s not there, but the moment I leave, he tramples all over MY staff. This is encroachment of my human rights. I don’t want to hurt you, little rat, because you have animal rights too. But what you are doing to me, you leave me with no choice. I’m a human being, you must remember that. That means I’m smarter than you a thousand folds. So really, if push comes to shove (and I can see it just did), I can get nasty and get you out of your hiding place – by any means necessary. Also remember, dear rat, that we humans can be pretty cruel, especially to creatures like you, which are deemed quite insignificant and a nuisance to humanity. So just do as you please in my kitchen, stuntrat. A warning to you; armor yourself because I’m going out to the human world. Like ‘The Terminator’ would say in a German accent, ‘I’ll be back!’